Two more things down, and one is a biggy – my whole freaking car! And a manky birdbath from the back garden, but that is significantly less interesting.
So why am I getting rid of a perfectly good, new Volvo V40? Well, I have left my job! In fact I left 3.5 weeks ago, when they went a little bit insane and put me on garden leave with immediate effect. I mean literally, remotely locked my out of my computer and pretty much escorted me off site. Which is ridiculous as I don’t work in sales or senior management. However because I was still officially employed, and paranoid, I didn’t think it was sensible to put it in the public domain until my employment officially ended, which was about 5 minutes ago!
And now I can say – I am so relieved to have left that job! Not because of the company (which was OK, all things considered), or the people (who were amazing) but because it just didn’t really like I was progressing. I joined at 22, straight from university, and whilst I had moved up the ladder from graduate to qualified Business Analyst, I always felt constrained. I think this was largely because I had worked my way up – they couldn’t see me as anything other than a good problem solver, but in no way senior management. If I was going to be cynical, I’d say I was more use in their eyes in that problem solving capacity. It was incredibly frustrating, seeing larger issues that generated inefficiencies and bad feeling, but not having anyone really listen.
But in the 8.5 years I’d been there, I’d never worked up the courage to leave. Even when I moved to London, I’d sort of said I’d start looking at some point, but never really considered it. And then an opportunity just fell at my door, in the way that they sometimes do. But I truly don’t believe that if I hadn’t already started working on breaking non-genuine emotional ties I wouldn’t have been able to take that opportunity. For a long period, the reward and recognition I got from work was so important to me – it was everything. I know now that that was a result of my lack of connection with my family, close friends moving away and a lack of personal relationship, but at the time it was so easy to ignore all that and transfer it into work. It was the same with all the stuff – the emotional behind the connections is valid, but it is directed at the wrong thing.
So, whilst I may not have my dream job, it is a step closer to getting to where I want to be.